Headline News: "...and First Lady Laura Bush gave George a mountain biking coat and sole warmers."
Me: "Nothing could warm that Bastard's soul."
Dad: "Shannon! How can you say that?" (something to that affect).
Me: (not even knowing where to begin) "Cause tons of people have died for no reason?"
Me: (can feel blood boiling)
Dad: stammering for an argument "We'll just agree to disagree."
Me: "We always do."
Last night while returning home from a late night of Christmas shopping, Jon was shuffling through his Sirus radio- landing on nothing but crap (in my opinion). I was bored and tired and my body was slowly preparing itself for sleep. Until this song came on - (feast your ears on this lovely tune!)
Hi. I got this idea from electric firefly. I just thought it would be kind of fun.
edited to add: Wow! Y'all are very generous with your virtual gift-giving. tee-hee Thanks!
From Jon
The List: How to...
1. Patch a radiator hose- umm no, I really should have taken auto mechanics in High School.
2. Protect your computer- is this something like a computer-cozy?
3. Rescue a boater who has capsized- I would probably have no reason to be out that far out in the ocean.
4. Frame a wall- ah wouldn't that look cute?
5. Retouch digital photos- done.
6. Back up a trailer- Is this a dance move?
7. Build a campfire- yes?
8. Fix a dead outlet- See number 12.
9. Navigate with a map and compass- I do pride myself with a good sense of direction; however, in the middle of nowhere that might be a different story.
10. Use a torque wrench- um yeah sure.
11. Sharpen a knife- all the time
12. Perform CPR- I passed the test several years ago; but I think I've forgotten it all.
13. Fillet a fish- absolutely not.
14. Maneuver a car out of a skid- I'm alive to talk about it.
15. Get a car unstuck- of course!
16. Back up data- sure.
17. Paint a room- and nicely done too I might add.
18. Mix concrete- why is this necessary in life?
19. Clean a bolt-action rifle- see number 18.
20. Change oil and filter- see number one.
21. Hook up an HDTV- nope.
22. Bleed brakes- yikes.
23. Paddle a canoe- Namaekagon River here I come!
24. Fix a bike flat- yes, but I'm not that great at it.
25. Extend your wireless network- do walkie talkies count?
On our (long) drive home from the airport, mom points to the sky and practically shouts "Oh look at that shooting star!" I'm kind of in a daze because it's late and I'm tired, but I looked up right away and made a wish. My mom reminds me "Make a wish." I think there was silence between us for a moment and I don't think we had to mention for what we wished.
I didn't take into consideration the number of holiday shoppers who'd be out in the mall on Saturday, so we more than gladly took advantage of these handy parking stalls for pregnant women. On our way back to the car we were wondering how the parking enforcement can tell if the car is legit or not, we don't have any stickers or tags or anything, I guess they just have to take it on faith. I said "Well, there's no questioning the car across from us." (It's loaded with car seats and baby paraphernalia.) However, my mom's car's hatchback is loaded with two 12 packs of beer and the whole vehicle is downright dirty from her dog and her dusty surroundings. Yeah, there's no questioning our legitimatize.
Oh yeah, it snowed up at my mom's house. Enough to accumulate and cool enough to be there when I woke up the next day.
Congratulations to the trivia team for taking 7th place out of 32 last night! (32 best teams throughout the year.) Bravo. Way to go!
Ps.- pictures and etc from my little vacation will be posted soon. I keep forgetting to bring the attachment to the camera.
Let me begin with a little bit of history on this subject. #7 was the school bus my brother and I rode our entire Elementary and Junior High years. We were at the hands of a very crabby, anti-social, never-crack-a-smile bus driver named Cindy who was like a cross between KD Lang and a serial killer. Only rather than croon, she was much more likely to bark and growl.
She was also very likely to forget that I was riding the bus and drive full-speed past my stop at the end of our driveway. This happened once in Elementary and I had to wait while she dumped the rest of the children off at their homes to then return me to mine. Oh my god what is she doing? Is she keeping me aboard so that she can take me back to her house, hold me captive, and force me to marry one of her ugly sons? Oh no, please God no. The horrific thoughts of her family life were spinning through my head.
The next day my mom waited at the end of the driveway for the bus to stop, Cruella open the door to let me out, and then verbally give her a piece of her mind. My mom was barely able to control herself she was so angry. But that didn't end my fear that Cindy wouldn't forget me again. From then on everyday I would stand in the aisle about a mile out from home balancing myself as the bus careened down one large hill, swung to the left as it curved around the pond, and then speed up to the top next hill to finally reach my house. I can't remember the time I was actually able to sit down relax and enjoy the bus ride home.
This fear of public transportation has stayed with me into adulthood and it explains why when I know I'm going to take the bus to work I'll do a "practice run" the day before so that I'm familiar with my surroundings, the course the bus uses, and most importantly to make sure I get the timing down.
I've been taking the bus home from work for over a year now my confidence is growing. And I've been brave enough to take the transportation all the way into Minneapolis! I love having a variety in my schedule and the freedom to plan a trip anywhere in the twin cities. And that's exactly what I did last night.
I was all excited to go shopping after work, redeem my coupons and gift certificates, and then have Jon join me and we could drive home together. I planned my itinerary- it was easy, I only had to catch one bus, made sure I was at the correct bus stop and waited for it to arrive.
When I climbed on I remember thinking "Oh great we have Otto for a bus driver." A younger guy all long-hair and skull-capped. I thought, "What is he doing driving a bus?" Whatever. Anyway I sat down and relaxed and looked out the windows to pass the time until my stop arrived. As you clearly know from the story above, I begin to get a bit nervous as my destination approaches. I know the proper procedure for alerting the bus driver of my stop, pulling the cord one block in advance. I did this exactly as I saw the stop ahead. It was a very busy time of the night and we must waited while the light changed color three different times before the bus was able to sneak past the left hand turn lane and through to the intersection? What? I needed to get off there! Wait. Maybe I'm wrong; maybe it is across the street. No. Meantime the red "Stop Request" light is still illuminated and I can't pull the cord to alert the driver I need to stop. Ugh! Now we're too far away for me to consider walking back (and it's freezing outside!). The bus finally stops to let some passengers off and one guy next to me says "At least he decided to stop sometime." I walk up to the front and very sternly tell him "You missed my stop." After negotiating with him that No, I do not need to transfer to another bus, that yes, that was my final stop and if you must know, my husband is picking me up. He says,"Hold on a minute." Whips the bus into park, flies out the door, runs across the street, and disappears into a store.
I look to the guy next to me like "What the hell just happened?" Does he feel so badly for me that he's buying me a present? I wouldn't have known what the hell he was doing if I hadn't seen him grab a bag full of comic books first before darting out the door. I call Jon to tell me the bus driver forgot to drop me off and that he's probably going to get to the store before I am. Just wait for me. Or I'll call you back with some random location of my whereabouts.
He returns out of breath and sits back down at the seat. Now he's racking his brain trying to think up excuses as to how I could still be sitting on the bus. Excuse after excuse I'm like "No." "No." Finally, he admits it was his fault. Really?!? Because I never would have guess you had other things on your mind.....
I had to ride out the entire end of his route before he was able to switch courses and return me back to my original stop. As my trip comes to an end I think to myself "Would it be funny for me to pull the cord?" Because I really don't want to risk anything. I pull the cord. He slows and opens the door and asks, "Is he here?" "Whose here?" "Your husband." "What? No." "Oh, I thought you saw him." Yeah I can make out dark figures in the middle of the evening from a moving vehicle; I'm that good. "Just let me off already" I think to myself.
I turn the corner to see Jon's standing outside the store. I'm so happy to see him right now. That crappy bus ride is now behind me and I cheerfully chime "Hi Honey!" practically skipping down the sidewalk. "Hey, they close at 6:00pm." My smile quickly fades and I wonder first if he's joking with me. "What? No it's not." I look on the door. They're closed. I wanted to hurl my body against the window "Just let me in!" Son of Bitch!! I stomp my feet on the ground. Now all that forgiveness I had for that idiot bus driver is washed away. He's going to have to pay! You can't keep a pregnant lady hostage on your bus while she could have been purchasing cloth diapers!! Is there no justice in the world???
